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Grief is a normal human response to loss, or in anticipation of a loss. Although it is normal, we often experience reactions and feelings that are upsetting because they are unusual for us.

We are here to help you with your grief journey and offer private, safe, and secure grief resources for your personal exploration without direct involvement from anyone on our staff.

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Please feel comfortable using the resources here. We have developed them for you because we deeply care about your well being and helping you with your grief journey.

Out of the Mouths of Babes

Mrs. M., the first grade teacher, was concerned. Sam faithfully brought his lunch to school but daily tossed it in the trash. He was pale and visibly losing weight but his mother, a working single parent who's father had recently died, was helpless to cope. Mrs. Martin asked permission to refer Sam to the school social worker.

Mrs. B., the counselor, had been working with Sam almost two weeks when he told her: “I can't eat. When Grandpa died, my heart got broke and all the pieces are in my stomach. There's no room for food any more.” Of course, small children are very literal, but what a perfect description of what it feels like to have someone we love die!

Children can, in fact, teach us a great deal about grief. Sam, for example, wasn't doing well because his mother was too overwhelmed to help and he needed support. Once he was able to talk about his feelings with Mrs. B., he made good progress toward getting his feelings out (which he thought of as pieces of his heart) and making room for food.

Kids have other lessons for us in terms of grief. We often think they are faking their feelings when they cry, stomp around and carry on about the death, then go out to play for awhile. “Grief isn't a light switch,” we point out, “to be turned on and off at will.” But that isn't what children are doing. They are smart enough to grieve as long as they can, then take a break to regather their emotional resources. Adults all too often talk themselves out of needed breaks thinking, “How can I enjoy dinner out with friends when my loved one has died?” No wonder exhaustion and a downward emotional spiral can follow such a strict grief regimen. Child or adult, we all need to grieve in manageable doses.

Children are open to behaviors that help with grief without feeling silly. For example, rituals are great ways to get out the feelings that need to be expressed. Children are usually the first to accept the idea of having a birthday party for the one who has died or making memory boxes. And, when emotion overflows during these rituals, kids seldom talk themselves out of the tears. Unlike many adults, they don't fight what comes naturally.

In a sense, we are all like children when we grieve. We feel life has gone out of our control. We experience emotions that are unfamiliar and frightening. We depend upon the kindness and support of others to make it through. We need to relearn life as it now exists without this special person.

We would be wise to trust the child that exists within each of us when we grieve.